A beginner's guide to couples' toys

Couples' toys are designed for shared pleasure. Some stimulate one person while the other is involved, and others are worn during intercourse or used alongside it. They can be a fun addition, but they work best when both people have agreed to try them.

What to look for

Choose a toy with simple controls and a shape that is easy to adjust. A remote control can help if you want to play without the focus being on handling the toy, but check that the range and battery life suit your plans.

Check the material and cleaning instructions as well. A toy that will be used by two people needs to be easy to clean between uses.

Talk before you start

Agree on what you'd like to try, what you'd rather avoid, and how you'll stop if either of you wants to. A short conversation beforehand makes the session feel relaxed rather than rushed.

Start slowly

Try a short session with the lowest setting, and pause often to check in. Notice what feels good and what doesn't, and say so. Many couples find the second or third session much easier than the first.

Afterwards

Talk about what you enjoyed and what you'd change. This helps you choose the next step together, whether that's a different toy, a different setting or simply a different pace.